Haunted
by bubblycrystal
Summary: To Elijah Goldsworthy, there's something hauntingly familiar about Clare Edwards, but he can't figure out what.
1. Chapter 1

**So here it is. My new story. It's been driving me insane the past few days and interfering with an essay that I have to write, so I figured why not! And I know that EClare is basically doomed, but I don't care. I'm still writing about them.**

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**Eli's POV**

The new kid. The name I don't enjoy.

Everyone stares as if you have the plague. They try to figure you out based on how outgoing you are, how you dress, what you drive, how your body language reacts. Everyone's so quick to judge you, as if what you see is actually what you get. No one even tries to learn who you truly are. They're more concerned about where you're from, why you moved, and with me, why a hearse. No one needs to know the truth.

Although, isn't it the same in reverse? As the new kid, I judge who I want to associate with based on their attitude and looks. I won't approach someone who looks as if they'll drive me insane. I won't approach anyone who automatically poorly judges me based on how I look. I'm the new kid anyway, shouldn't they open up to me? I'm invading their territory.

The new kid. A name that lasts until someone else moves in and receives the unwanted spotlight, or until enough time passes that no one cares. Others slowly open up to you, but mostly only because they're forced to because of classes, but once they do, they understand that you're just misunderstood.

When you're new, you can become whoever you want to be, or who you truly are. You can put your old life behind you and move on from what, or who, you've done wrong. Being new is a fresh start. A wanted start.

I stare blankly at the steps leading up to Degrassi. I don't want to be here, but I know I should be somewhere other than where I was. After my girlfriend got hit by a car, there was nothing to stop the torture that I received at my old school. The police, for some reason, suspected foul play, but honestly, how could they even tell? Her body was crushed. I passed the polygraph with flying colors, but they never fully ruled me out as a suspect. Word got out around school that Julia was murdered, even though she wasn't, and the torture began. It was a freak accident, but I never have, and never will, stop blaming myself. The questions always start out with "What if..." and they'll never stop.

As I slowly walked up the steps to Degrassi, I could feel everyone's stare against me. No one knew who I was, so I knew they weren't talking about _that_. I was just the new "emo" kid who drove a hearse. Of course they're going to stare and whisper.

I walked into the office to receive my schedule. The secretary smiled faintly at me before letting me know that the principal would be right with me, so I took a seat while I waited. Soon enough, the principal rounded the corner with a student with him.

"Good morning, Eli. I'm Mr. Simpson, your new principal. I've arranged for a student to show you around school before you head off to your first class together. Your teacher knows you'll be late, but that doesn't mean that you can just gallivant around and go even later on purpose," he stated trying to sound authoritative, but seriously just sounded awkward. It was as if he was going out of his way to make me feel comfortable here, but I didn't want his pity. He knew my story. I'm sure he judged me as well.

"Just point me in the direction of the student, and I'll be on my way." I tried to sound enthusiastic about all of this, but honestly, the idea of some random student showing me around the school wasn't my cup of tea. I didn't want to have to try and make awkward conversation with someone who would automatically dislike me based on how passive I would most likely be. Mr. Simpson motioned the girl to come out from behind him, but she refused to look at me and kept her eyes fixed on her feet.

_Great,_ I thought. _She won't even look at me. That's a promising start._

"Eli, meet Clare. She's one of the brightest students we have here at Degrassi and will be in a few of your classes as an advanced student." Oh, so she's younger than me. That's ..interesting. Why wouldn't Mr. Simpson just have someone from my own grade?

"Okay. Thanks." I turned out of the office, while Clare trailed behind me.

"You're going the wrong way," a quiet voice suddenly sounded from behind me. I turned around as Clare suddenly looked down at the ground. "If I'm going to show you around the school, we should start on the other side so that we end at the classroom and don't have to walk back." Not once did she look up at me. She just kept fiddling with her hands and staring at them, and honestly, it was starting to piss me off.

"Why won't you look at me?" I figured I'd just ask the question instead of dancing around it. "Am I really that awful to look at? I mean, I know I'm different, but –." She looked up at me, and her eyes stared straight into mine. They were absolutely hypnotizing, and the most stunning shade of blue. I'd never seen anyone with eyes as crystal as hers, but I couldn't help feel as if I'd seen them before, but I know that's not possible. I moved a good few hours away. I knew no one here.

"Sorry, I've just had a bad morning. I'm not trying to be rude, I'm just… distracted, I guess." Her voice wavered and the area around her eyes became a light blotchy red, signaling that she was about to cry. Glancing around the hallway, she ferociously tried to blink away her tears. "Let's get started, shall we?" She faked a smile, and I remained quiet. I felt awful for borderline snapping at her two minutes into meeting her. She began walking down the hallway with me following right behind her. "Right here are the art rooms. You're able to use them with permission during free periods and lunch. We have a dark room as well, so you can develop pictures on your own, but you have to pay a small fee to help keep the supplies stocked."

We continued down the hallway, and she hadn't once turned around to make sure I was still with her. I also hadn't even said anything to her since her near breakdown earlier. I didn't want to set anything off with her because she seemed so fragile, so vulnerable. Something was really bothering her, and I didn't want to push her. So instead of talking to her, I racked my brain on how I would've known her. I barely knew anyone in other grades at my old school, so I knew that wasn't it. Julia's extended family members I would recognize, plus she would've acknowledged me if that were the case. She wasn't part of my family. She wasn't any of my friends' friends. I finally gave up and settled for the fact that she looked like a friend that I had back at my old school, which is probably true.

"Would you like to talk about it?" My voice interrupted hers and she stopped to turn and look at me.

"Excuse me?"

"I asked if you wanted to talk about it. You know, what's bothering you." She looked down at the ground as if she expected me to understand what was wrong, but I'm a guy. I don't catch on very quickly. "I know we don't know each other, but I'm a good listener and I'm not going to judge. You just look like you need someone to talk to, that's all." She looked up at me and let out a large sigh, a hint of relief flashing through her eyes.

"Honestly, don't worry about it. I'll be fine. Now, where were we?" She turned around and started her tour of the school back up. I rolled my eyes and followed.

_Women. I'll never understand them._

Once the tour was done, I followed her into our first period class. Awkwardly, I stood in the back of the classroom, not knowing where to sit.

"Ah, Mr. Goldsworthy. Nice of you to join us and welcome to Degrassi! Please, take a seat behind Clare." I slowly walked over to my seat. "I've already partnered up everyone else in the class, and since you two were the only ones not here, I've assigned you to be editing partners for the rest of the semester."

I immediately watched Clare tense up and her breathing become slightly erratic at Ms. Dawes' statement. She quickly stood up and ran out of the room, her hand covering her mouth.

_Awesome. She's sick. I better not get what she had,_ I thought to myself.

"Alli, could you please go make sure Ms. Edwards is okay? Take her to the nurse if she needs as well. Just don't leave her alone, got it?" A tan skinned girl stood up in response and began to collect hers and Clare's things seeing as the bell was going to ring in about fifteen minutes.

"Sure thing, Ms. Dawes. Could you let Mr. Perino know that I may be late to his class?" The teacher nodded her head at the girl before she made her way out of the classroom with both of their things.

Once the bell rang, I made sure to figure out from Ms. Dawes where to go for my next class, seeing as Clare wasn't there to show me. Once I thought I figured it out, I exited left out of the classroom and walked down the hallway. As I passed the bathrooms, I noticed the girls' door opening up with Alli holding the door as a tall boy with blond hair carried Clare out of the bathroom. Her arm was limp and pointing toward the ground, her head tilted back with her eyes shut, and her skin even paler than it was before, which I'm sure was just her natural tone. But now, she looked deathly pale. I couldn't help but stare.

Noticing me, Alli turned to the boy and said, "Thanks KC. I'll meet you down at the nurse's office. I'm just going to let Sav know what's going on so that he doesn't wait for me after school." The boy nodded and continued walking. Alli quickly approached me, her eyes brimming with tears. "You don't need to worry about her. She'll be fine. It happens every now and then."

"Why?" I asked, not caring that I may have sounded like a nosy jerk.

"I'm not allowed to say, but just act as if you saw nothing. Got it? Mentioning it won't be good."

"How am I supposed to act as if I saw nothing? She's my English partner and she looks as if she's about to die!" I slightly raised my voice at her, and immediately felt bad.

"This. This is exactly why you need to act that way." With that, she turned sharply on her heel and rushed her way down to the nurse's office leaving me to stand there completely confused. Coming out of my trance, I noticed that the hallways were clear and I was late for my second class.

_At least I can say that I got lost,_ I quickly thought to myself as I began making my way to my next class.

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**So I know that it sucked, but oh well. It'll hopefully get better as the chapters progress. I already have two random chapters written for later on, neither of which are together. They're the main parts to this story, but I have to lead up to them, which is harder than it seems. I feel that I have a good twist to this story that, if I'm careful enough in later chapters, no one will be able to figure out before it happens =)**

**Don't forget to review, please! If no one does, I'm going to automatically just discontinue it. No point in continuing something that no one likes, right? Right.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Well that feedback was definitely unexpected. I still hate the chapter and want to rewrite it, but I won't! You guys are amazing, you truly are =)**

**I realize that I never say that I don't own Degrassi, but I don't. If I did, Eli and Clare would be the high school power couple, Fitz and Chantay would enter the Degrassi black hole (or graduate), and I wouldn't add new characters every chance I got. I do, however, own the most adorable and obnoxious flop-eared bunny rabbit who likes to bite me when he doesn't get what he wants.**

**Also! Clare's issue isn't going to be revealed for a few chapters because it's part of the twist I have planned. And most, if not all, of this story will be in Eli's POV.**

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**Eli's POV**

After school, I wanted to see how Clare was even though Alli told me to act as if it had never happened. How on earth does she expect me to do that when she looked dead? I had seen Julia after she died, but she looked awful. She had road rash all over her body and her face was unrecognizable. Although her body was a mangled mess, I knew it was her by the henna tattoo she had gotten on her foot with her best friend the day earlier.

But I had to respect Alli's wishes. If I were somehow the cause of whatever happened, there's no need to make it happen again. Although, if I did something, I need to know so that it wouldn't happen again. Since the school day is over, I'll just have to talk to her tomorrow.

As I made my way out into the parking lot and over to Morty, my hearse, I heard a guy arguing with someone. I looked in the direction of his voice, and saw none other than Alli and a taller boy who I'm assuming was her brother. There can't be many people of Indian decent in Canada, although, it is Toronto, so you never know. I took this as a chance to awkwardly stand by until they were either done arguing or until one of them noticed me.

"What was I supposed to do? She couldn't stay here, and you know she can't be home alone when this happens!" Alli was full out yelling and pleading with him on what I'm assuming was about Clare. "Mom and dad didn't have a problem with me missing the rest of the school day, so I don't understand why it's such a big deal to you."

"Because! What if something happens? You can't pick her up! You had to run to the classroom across the hallway just to get KC! Then on top of that, Zane had to drive you two home just so that you could get her into the house!" Alli crossed her arms in response to her brother's argument. He did have a point though. Clare may not be fat, but Alli's even smaller. No way can she possibly carry her.

"Sav, you should know well enough that if there was any form of a problem I would've called for an ambulance…" Alli spoke with a grave tone in her voice as if she felt her brother was calling her an idiot, when, if she's in an advanced class with Clare, clearly she's not. "It's not like this hasn't happened before. You know it all stems from her parents kicking her out."

"And you know what that stems from," Sav argued with Alli, refusing to lose.

"Ugh! You're absolutely ridiculous. I'm sorry that my best friend needed me. Just deal with it. Mr. Simpson didn't have a problem with it, so I don't understand why you do. He's the one who should care. Not my annoyingness of a brother. Besides, I had to get permission from the 'rents before I actually left the school, so just leave me alone. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go meet her at the studio."

"The studio? She hasn't been there in over a year. Why on earth would she go back?" Alli just shot him a look before turning her head in frustration towards me, and her eyes widened at the realization that I could hear every word. Immediately, she marched over to where I was standing.

"What did you hear?" Alli demanded. Clearly, this girl doesn't like me.

"Not much. I just saw you in the lot and wanted to make sure that Clare was okay." I figured a small white lie wouldn't hurt. I'd heard enough to understand that there's something actually wrong with Clare, but Alli didn't need to know that.

"Oh. Well she's fine. Thanks for asking," Alli responded. I rolled my eyes at her slight annoyed tone and turned away from her and began walking towards Morty.

"No problem," I muttered to myself. If Alli wasn't going to be nice to me, I didn't want to deal with it. I can't even think of what I would have done to make her so angry at me anyway.

The next day in English class, we had to work on projects with our partners and Clare barely acknowledged me. Actually, almost no one noted my presence the entire day. It's almost as if I was at my old school again and they all believed that I killed my girlfriend. After a while, I even believed that I killed my girlfriend, albeit indirectly. I may not have physically pushed her in front of the car, but I was the reason she was out in the middle of the night. I don't think I'll ever forgive myself for that.

"Eli, did you hear a single word I just said?" I snapped out of my thoughts to a very angry looking Clare. I don't even see why she's mad, she's been avoiding me all class even though we're partners. So if that's the way she wants to play? Fine.

"What do you care? You're the one who wouldn't even look at me most of the class period. I knew yesterday was all an act with your whole 'I've just had a bad morning' line." Tears slowly began to fill Clare's eyes and I watched as she pushed herself back from the desk to once again run out of the classroom. Only this time, she took her bag with her. I rolled my eyes at her dramatic exit, folded my arms across my chest, and looked on the other side of the classroom to see an extremely pissed Alli. She wasted no time in getting up to stomp over to me.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" she hissed at me. Honestly, she probably would have slapped me had the teacher not been in the classroom, but whatever.

Minutes passed, and I slowly began to feel guilty for snapping at Clare. When the class ended and I began to collect my belongings, I noticed that Clare had left a binder on the floor. I stared at it for a minute before pulling out a sheet of paper and scribbling an apology on it and stuffing it into the front pocket. Knowing Clare was going to the nurse's office at some point, I decided to drop it off there for her so that she would have it. Upon approaching the doorway of the nurse, I could hear Alli and Clare talking, and curiosity got the best of me.

"I didn't tell him. I may be the gossip queen, but I'm your best friend first. When, and if, you want to tell him, it'll be on your terms. Not mine," I overheard Alli telling Clare. I was relieved to know that Clare didn't pass out like she did last time.

"I feel like everyone knows, when in reality only you and Sav know the entire story, and honestly, Sav wouldn't know if he didn't come and pick me up that night. I couldn't even walk afterwards and he drove me and carried me into the hospital, no questions asked. I can never thank him enough for that."

"You know he'd do anything for you. You're like a sister to us, and so he'll do anything for you. Just like he'll do anything for me. He's even crazy over protective of you! Like yesterday, he was so angry that I left you alone at the studio," Alli explained.

"Well, I wasn't completely alone. Besides, I needed to clear my head. Eli doesn't even remember who I am anyway, so I don't understand why he's getting to me so badly. Part of me doesn't even want to tell him because I know it wouldn't end well."

Wait. Did Clare just say 'remember who I am'? So I do know her. Obviously I had to of done something bad to her in order to get that severe of a reaction from her, twice. It also explains why she doesn't look at me, as if she's ashamed of herself or scared of me. And it explains that look of relief on her face. After that sentence, I stopped listening to their conversation all together and walked away.

I knew Clare looked familiar to me, but the question is why.

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**Ha, this whole thing sounded much better in my head, but I refuse to rewrite it again. So, I'm sorry if this chapter sucks. Also, from here on out, the chapters will be getting longer. The first two were hard to write because I kept changing in my head how Clare and Eli should interact with each other, plus, I want to get to the good stuff =) So I know these first two chapters have been fairly boring, and I apologize for that.**

**Also, for those of you who read Unforgettable Memories, that one will be updated tomorrow night! I was planning on just ditching it since it's been about three months since I last updated it. But a few people have been asking me about it, so I figured I'd continue it. I just had to reread the story a few times to try and remember where I was going with it beforehand.**

**So, even though this chapter was boring, please review! It'll be worth it later on, I promise =)**


	3. Chapter 3

**So, I realized that this story is pretty much the complete opposite of what was in my head. Haha, I'm so lame. Anyway, so this chapter is pretty much a background on Clare, in her POV. Yes, I know I said that it would be most, if not all, in Eli's POV, but oh well.**

**AND I KEPT MY PROMISE! =D It's 11:40 at my house, so clearly, I'm still in the clear for the specified "tomorrow" that I wrote about in Unforgettable Memories. Haha.**

**Still not owning Degrassi.**

**Enjoy!**

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**Clare's POV**

Before kicking her out of my room, Alli had spent the past two hours trying to convince me that I should tell Eli how I know him, but I don't want to make him feel guilty. I know he recognized me; it was evident on his face. Although, he said he didn't know me?

Given our past, we couldn't be friends. I had a major crush on him when I was younger, and trying to form a friendship with him would just rehash old feelings that I could not and would not let myself act upon. Besides, who's to say that he'd even like me? There's nothing special about me. Becoming friends with him would just get my hopes up for something that will never and could never happen. I won't allow it, especially after my sister ended up committing suicide over a boy.

They say that suicide runs in families. Not that it's hereditary, but that if one person in the family commits suicide, another is likely to attempt due to guilt. Guilt because you then realize that there were in fact signs, and that if you hadn't been so absorbed into your own life, you'd have noticed those signs. Maybe then they'd still be with you today. I'd be lying if I told you I hadn't thought of suicide, especially after my parents blamed me. It got to the point where they couldn't bear to look at me anymore, so they kicked me out. Alli, my best friend that I met one summer on family vacations when we were seven, somehow convinced her parents to let me come live with them. I never hesitated once in agreeing. Moving away would mean I'd leave every aspect of me behind. I wouldn't have people pitying me. I wouldn't have people blaming me. I could be introduced to an entirely new world of people who had no idea about my past. I could finally feel free.

But I never did stop feeling guilty for her death. Looking back on it, there were signs. She may have been my older sister, but I wasn't young enough to be completely oblivious. I knew she was depressed. After she was raped, she was never the same. She lashed out on family members, she lashed out on her boyfriend, she lashed out on her friends, but worst of all, she constantly told me that she wished it had been me who had been raped instead of her. Perhaps if someone had realized sooner, she could have gotten the help that she needed.

I stopped dancing. I stopped smiling. I stopped writing. I stopped eating. I put my entire life on hold because of her. I've put my life behind self-built walls, and anyone who tries to break it down, aside from Sav and Alli, will fail. I can't let anyone else into my life. I can't bear to go through this again. I'm not even sure if I'd be able to stop myself from death this time.

And even though my sister hated me, I still loved her. I always will. I made a vow to myself, that'd I'd visit her at least three times a year: her birthday, the anniversary of her death, and her favorite holiday, Christmas. That way, she wouldn't have to be alone on days you should be spending with family. My parents won't ever visit her because 'suicide is a sin'.

But even if that's true, she was still their daughter. _Just like I will always be her sister._

Often times, I'll sit on the floor, in the center of the room with the music blasting. I often imagine myself dancing to the music, but I can't ever find the strength to do it anymore. It doesn't feel right. Sometimes when I'm in my trance, I'll realize that I'm staring at my pointe shoes on the wall. I'll put them on every now and then and do stretches and stuff so that maybe, someday, if I do feel up to dancing, I won't have to work on my foot strength all over again, but I'll never put any emotion into it.

I hate what I've reduced my life to be, but I have no intent on changing it in the near future. I was told that everyone needs a mourning period, and sure, that period isn't supposed to last as long as I've let it, but everyone grieves in their own way, right? Not everyone stood and watched as their sister took her own life right in front of their eyes.

Alli and Sav try to understand what I'm going through. Hell, they'd do anything for me. I was lucky enough that they were once visiting family the next town over from where I lived before that I was able to call, no questions asked, and have Sav take me to the hospital. I couldn't face my parents right after that, and he stayed with me the entire time. He and Alli were the family that I never had. They were the family that I wished I could have always had, instead of the broken one that I was handed.

But you never get to pick your own cards. You just have to deal with what you're dealt.

I looked at the clock and realized that I should probably head to bed, even though I knew it was just going to be another restless night. I'd learned to be able to function on the smallest amounts of sleep, but I always wish I could just fall asleep and not wake up for about a week. Emotionally, I'm exhausted. Physically, I'm exhausted. I just need a vacation from my life, even if all I do is sleep.

The next morning at school, I walked into the building with my head down, occasionally looking up just to make sure I wouldn't run into anyone and that I was going in the right direction. Upon approaching my locker, I realized that there was someone leaning against it: Eli.

"I need to get to my locker," I spoke quietly enough so that he could hear me, but also in a tone that showed that I didn't want to deal with him. After his small outburst yesterday, I didn't want to upset him again, but at the same time, I didn't want him to think that it was okay.

He held out my green English binder in front of me, "You left this in class yesterday, just thought you'd want it back before class." I took the binder with my right hand and placed it on top of the other binders in my left arm.

"Um, thanks." I twisted the combination into the lock and opened my locker, threw my unneeded supplies into it, and shut my locker back up. When I turned to go to class, I noticed Eli was still standing there, staring at me. "..What?" It came out a lot harsher than I expected, but I didn't necessarily care.

"Are you alright? You seem … distracted." Eli continued to stare at me quizzically, no doubt probably trying to figure out who I am still. I could tell he wanted me to crack, and he most likely knew that I knew that he recognized me yet wouldn't tell him who I was, which probably drove him insane.

"Just have a lot on my mind." It wasn't a lie, but it wasn't the entire truth. I know I should tell him. He needs to know. I hesitated before proceeding to walk around him and towards my – _our_ class, but I hadn't made it fully around before I felt a hand lightly grip my forearm, causing me to slightly turn around to face him. But I didn't look at him. Instead, I looked at the floor. I wasn't in the mood to deal with his shenanigans, even though it was my fault.

"I'm sorry for what I said yesterday – for yelling at you. I was just frustrated and I didn't mean to take it out on you." He sounded sincere in his apology, and to be honest, I wasn't even mad about it anymore. I'm more torn between right and wrong at this point. I'm broken, and I don't want to make him feel like he needs to be there for me, especially since I know he wouldn't want to be.

I glanced up to his face, but didn't look him in the eye, and gave him a weak smile. "No worries. Already forgotten." With that, I turned around and made my way toward my classroom, but as tears began to fill my eyes, I knew I couldn't go to class. Instead, I went to the auditorium.

I climbed up onto the stage, pulled out my iPod, and just sat there. After a few minutes, I rummaged through my bag and finally found what I was looking for. I stared at the objects in my hands for a long time, but I couldn't bring myself to do anything with them. I placed them on the floor in front of me, plugged my iPod into my ears, and just stared at them. As Taylor Swift filled my ears, my eyes filled with tears. Whenever I just needed to cry, I played her music, mostly because she was my sister's favorite so her music would always remember me. The one song I can't ever get myself to listen to was her favorite song, Forever and Always.

**Eli's POV**

I couldn't help but be worried about Clare, especially since she's not in class when I know she's in school. Something seemed off about her this morning, and I know it's about me and yesterday. Alli must have noticed, too, because she went up and quietly spoke with Ms. Dawes before collecting her things and exiting the classroom. Alli didn't seem too concerned though, which, given Clare's health issue lately seemed weird.

I hate that she knows who I am, and I can't for the life of me remember who she is. You'd think that I could remember, given how adorable she is. I love the way her short curls frame her face perfectly. I love how crystal blue her eyes are. I hate seeing how vulnerable she is to everyone around her. I'm describing her like I'm in love with her or something. But I'm not. How can I when I don't even know who she is? I need to figure out who she is. There has to be a link that I'm missing.

Julia would probably think I'm insane for even caring. Julia. I've been so preoccupied with concern about Clare that I hadn't thought of Julia. Mentally, I cursed myself for even forgetting and thinking of Clare the way I did. If she could, Julia would probably torture me for having those thoughts.

Eventually, I had to go to the bathroom, so I excused myself from the classroom. Upon leaving the facilities, I decided I wanted to try and find Clare to make sure she was okay, so the first stop was going to be the nurse's station. As I rounded the corner, I saw Alli standing in the doorway of the auditorium with tears in her eyes and her right hand covering her mouth.

_Shit – Clare._ Alli looked frozen, and I'm sure only Clare could pull that sort of reaction from Alli. I rushed over to Alli's side ready to rush Clare to the hospital if need be, but when I stopped to look in the doorway, I saw something I wasn't expecting.

Clare was staring intently at an object placed in front of her on the floor. _Pointe shoes?_ Clare doesn't seem like the type that would dance, let alone dance ballet. Yeah, she's thin, but dancers have a certain aura to them, and Clare didn't seem to have that.

"She hasn't danced since she died," I heard Alli whisper next to me, but she was so quiet I almost didn't even hear her.

"Who?"

"Her sister," Alli responded, letting a few tears escape her eyes. "She, uh, committed suici–." She stopped abruptly as if she shouldn't have told me that. I looked over at her, and her eyes were wide with panic. "Please don't tell her I said anything. She'll kill me."

"Her sister committed suicide? I don't see what so secretive about that. I know what it's like to lose someone you love."

"Yeah… But losing a family member who blamed you for everything is slightly different than what you experienced, I'm sure." Alli's voice was shaky, and as much as I wanted to press on the subject, I decided to respect their friendship and not press on it. I looked back at Clare one more time, and she looked as if she were crying. Actually, I knew she was. Tears were streaming down her face, and I knew that I wouldn't be welcomed once Alli made her presence known to her. They'd need to have their girl talk, which for some reason, always makes girls feel better.

"I'm going to head back to class. Ms. Dawes is probably thinking the urinal ate me by now." Alli scrunched her face in response, probably repulsed by what I just said, but I just turned around and began to walk back to the classroom. "I'll let her know that you and Clare are having needed girl time."

"Thanks, Eli." I turned around and began walking back towards the classroom. "Eli!" I turned around at the sound of my name, and noticed Alli was no longer in the doorway of the auditorium. I ran back to the doorway and once I rounded the corner, I saw Clare lying on her back on the stage. What could have happened between now and then? I ran down the aisle and jumped onto the stage and kneeled next to Alli.

"Why is she shaking?" I nearly yelled at Alli. I wasn't about to pick up a girl who for all I knew was having a seizure. Her face was pale, her lips slightly parted, but her breathing was staggered and her body was trembling.

"Panic attack. She gets them every now and then. She didn't have them for a good while until she showed you around school that day, and she's been having about two every day since then. For some reason, they've gotten to the point where she'll pass out from them, like right now." Alli sounded slightly bitter at that fact, but how was I to have known?

"So this… This is because of me?" I felt awful knowing that I caused her this much pain, and I hate that I have absolutely no idea why.

"Indirectly? Yes." I looked at Alli, who had calmed down a bit by now, but she was looking down at Clare. I didn't say anything for a few moments, partially because Alli had just confirmed that I was the reason for Clare's seemingly declining health. "Come on, let's go." I wrapped my arms underneath Clare's body and lifted her off the stage to carry her to the nurse's office.

"Hey Alli?" Alli stopped walking and turned to look at me. "I know I'm a complete jerk for having to ask this question, but how do I know Clare?" Alli tore her eyes away from me, and stared at the door.

"I want to tell you, but this is really a conversation that you should be having with her. Not me."

"Just a hint then? Please? It's driving me insane as to how I know her, yet don't know her." I was ready to start pleading with Alli. Anything to help me.

"Go through a yearbook from last year. You should be able to figure it out. Not all of it, but the most important part at least."

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**Ha. So after being in the hospital for a month and a half for panic/anxiety attacks, it really shouldn't come as a surprise to anyone that I'd use it in the story. And yes, I'd have them in my sleep. I guess it's rare, but I'm just that lucky, I suppose. I'm not going to make Clare go through the extreme's that I did (for anyone who's clueless, read the author's notes in Promises are Forever), but I figured that I'd just use it as a basis. And she's not entirely having them because of Eli, but more of Eli is a trigger, which will be explained probably in the next chapter. I wasn't planning on having this be a crazy long story, so we'll see.**

**Review? Please? I need to know how I'm doing in order to continue. While you're at it, if you're interested in me continuing Unforgettable Memories, review that as well, please? I'm not going to write stories that no one is reading or interested in.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Still not owning Degrassi.**

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**Eli's POV**

I dug through the still unpacked boxes in my room trying to find my yearbook. I didn't want to have to relive certain memories, but if I'm unknowingly causing this much pain to Clare, I have to. Wait. Why on earth do I care so much? I can't be falling for her, can I? I haven't even had one conversation with the girl outside of school, and even in school it's been short.

But there's something about her that draws me in. She's more than just another girl. You can tell that she cares about things other than herself. I probably don't even directly know her, but I feel like I've known her for years. I hate how she carries around this deep dark secret. But her eyes, damn her eyes could tell you every secret she carries. Often in English, I'll catch myself just staring at her face. The way she scrunches her nose when she's frustrated or the way she squints her eyes when she's really trying to figure out how to word something, or even the way she chews on her bottom lip when she's unsure of something. I find it all absolutely adorable.

_No, Eli. You can't be falling for her. You don't even know her._

Personality wise, she reminds me of Julia's sister, who is also partially the reason mine and Julia's relationship ended. Okay, I'm mostly the reason we finally broke up, but she didn't help. It was just an innocent kiss though, it's not like I truly cheated on Julia. Yeah, it was with her sister, but I couldn't stop myself. She must have told Julia because the next thing I knew, Julia was at my house, screaming at me about kissing her sister. But that's all Julia ever did: yell at me. If I was just thirty seconds late in picking her up, I'd get yelled at. If I didn't say the exact answer Julia was looking for, I'd get yelled at. Towards the end of our relationship, nothing I ever did was right. To say that we were still in a relationship for the last three months until we officially broke it off is iffy.

After searching through three boxes for my yearbook, I still hadn't found it. I don't know where I would have put it. Oh wait. The yearbook has Julia: the Julia box. Of course.

Against the far wall of my room sat the Julia box, but I just sat on my bed and stared at it. I didn't want to go through _that_. I'd end fetal position on my floor bawling my eyes out. Yeah, we had broken up by the time Julia died, but it was the same night. I still loved her, and I never stopped. We had just grown apart.

Ten minutes later, I was still staring at the box, and I couldn't get myself to even open it. Tears had started to prick at the inside corners of my eyes, and I decided that I couldn't be in my room any longer for the night.

_Maybe tomorrow,_ I thought to myself. _Maybe tomorrow I'll be able to go through it._

Wait a minute. Why on earth could I do that when I could just break Clare myself? Her entire circle of friends would hate me, but I'd be able to put my mind to rest. I didn't move here to make friends. I just came here to get by until I could leave for good when college arrived.

The next day at school, I thought of many ways I could approach Clare. I could be blunt or dance around the subject, or I could actually try and talk to her about it. Have a conversation. Ha, blunt it is. I narrowed my eyes as I entered English and took my seat behind Clare. Once the instructions were given, Clare immediately turned around and gave me a soft smile.

"Okay, so since I wasn't here yesterday, we have to –"

"Who are you?" I cut Clare off, bluntly. Ripping the bandage off is better than dancing around it. I leaned back in my seat and crossed my arms across my chest, raising my eyebrows awaiting an answer, but she just stared at me, dumbfounded. "Okay, I'll try again. Who. Are. You."

"I'm Clare… You're English partner?" She replied slowly, but not as if she were mocking me. It was as if she were genuinely confused about what I was asking her. She started fiddling with her pencil nervously and with that, I knew that she had realized what I was getting at, but I didn't want to play games with her.

"Don't play games with me. I know you know me from my previous school, but what I can't figure out is how." I leaned forward in my chair, placing my arms on the desk. She glanced up at me before looking back down at her hands.

"I – I have no idea what you're talking about," she replied nervously. Does she really think that that's going to fool me? I rolled my eyes at her before bringing them back down in a glare at her.

"I know you're lying."

"C – could we not do this here, Eli? Please?" She looked up at me with pleading eyes, but they were quickly starting to water over. She blinked quickly to try and make them go away, but it wasn't working. Tears started streaming down her face, and she swiftly grabbed her bag and left the classroom, not even bothering to look back at me.

_Ugh. This girl is so dramatic_, I thought. It can't possibly be this bad. I never tortured anyone at my old school, so it's not like I bullied her. Sure I ignored people's existence, but I was never overly rude about it.

"Aren't you going to go after her?" I heard an annoying voice from the next row over and looked at the person it came from: Alli. Of course. It's always Alli.

"Isn't that you're job? You always go after her."

"Yeah, well. I'm done. You two need to work this out. Now, go. There's only so much I can do." Damn, this girl was actually quite obnoxious. I don't even know how I didn't see it before.

I stood up and left the classroom, not entirely knowing where Clare went. I can't go in the bathroom, so I figured I'd check the auditorium.

Jackpot.

I rounded the corner of the doorway, and watched as Clare cried on the stage. Damn, she sure does cry a lot. You'd think after a while, she'd have no more tears to cry. But her eyes sure were gorgeous after she cried. They turned a crystal blue green, and it was beautiful.

"You have pretty eyes," I blurted out, still standing against the frame of the auditorium doorway. _Shit, busted._ Clare froze and slowly maneuvered herself onto her knees on the stage in order to face me. Her face was streaked with mascara, and her face was splotchy. Slowly, I began making my way towards the stage, while staring directly at her. "That's how I know I know you. I recognize your eyes, but I have no idea how or why."

Clare remained silent on the stage, not even looking at me. It was clear that she had absolutely no intention of talking either. Might as well try and get her to start talking. Maybe then she'll tell me how she knows me, right?

"So you dance?" Clare slowly nodded her head while I propped both of my arms up on the edge of the stage, resting my head in my hands. "Dance something for me."

"I – I can't." Her voice was so quiet, it was a miracle I had even heard her.

"You can't mourn your sister forever." Clare abruptly shot her head up and gave me a confused look, yet I saw something in her eyes that resembled something else. Fear. "Alli accidentally told me that you hadn't danced since your sister passed," I stated quietly, hoping that she couldn't hear me. Clare's face immediately turned blank.

"She didn't 'pass'. She killed herself. She killed herself because of _me_." Her voice was cold and laced with venom. Her eyes suddenly got a dark look in them, as if she were angry at her sister, which she probably was. Or perhaps it was a flash of regret.

"I'm sure that's not true," I tried reasoning with her, but she just shook her head no as fast as she could. Her eyes began to water again.

"No, she told me it was my fault, that _everything_ was _my_ fault." She began sobbing harder, and was clenching the hem of her shirt so hard I thought she would rip the shirt right off of her, although I wouldn't necessarily mind right now. "She killed herself in front of me, and it was too late for me to even try to stop her."

"But that doesn't mean you should stop dancing for her. Come on, just for a minute? Then you can stop. Nothing bad is going to happen. I'm right here." Maybe being her friend will get it out of her? Damn, I'm so bad at this. Clearly I didn't think anything through. "You know you want to."

Suddenly, her features turned cold. "No, actually, I don't want to. Especially not in front of you." She hastily grabbed her bag from the floor and quickly stood up and hopped down off of the stage before trying to pass me, but I blocked her.

"Clare, you can't run from this forever. Don't you think your sister would want you to be happy?" I placed my hands on her shoulders hoping that that would have a better chance of her listening to me, but she just brought her hands up and shoved mine away.

"Please. You wouldn't have known my sister the way I did. She meant more to me than anyone, but no matter how much I did for her – no matter how much I even tried – it was never enough. All she ever saw was the geeky bracefaced girl with glasses. I was always just a cover for her. She hated me. No matter how much she told anyone that I was the 'best little sister anyone could ever dream of', but in reality, we weren't best friends like she made everyone believe. It was all an act. It was _always_ an act."

"You know what? You're wrong," I calmly, but sternly spoke back to her. In reality, I had no idea if Clare was right or wrong, but still, Clare's head shot up in confusion.

"E-excuse me?"

"If your sister didn't care about you, how on earth would it be your fault for her suicide? If she didn't care, nothing you said or did for her would have ever mattered to her. Unlike you with your sister, I actually did kill my girlfriend." Clare's face paled at my words, probably because she realized that she was standing in the same room as a killer. "She found out that I would never love her like I loved her sister and when she left my house, she got hit by a car. She wouldn't have even been out on the streets late at night if it wasn't for me."

Completely ignoring the fact that I actually killed my girlfriend, Clare blurted out, "You – you fell in love with your girlfriend's sister? How is that even possible?" Clare looked at me as if I were insane. Of course, I know that falling in love with your girlfriend's sister is a little unorthodox, but who was Clare to judge? She didn't know Julia or her sister. "Why on earth were you even with her then?"

"You wouldn't understand," I spoke honestly.

"Oh right. Little Miss Saint Clare would never understand because I was so sheltered growing up. News flash Eli, yes, I may be younger than you, but I've lived with more pain than you could even begin to imagine – physical and emotional. So now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to take my little sheltered ass away from you." Clare shoved past me and continued her way to the door, but not before I heard her mutter, "Love? Seriously?"

Getting through to Clare was going to be a lot harder than I thought. But those eyes are so captivating.

Wait a minute. What did she just say? _Miss Saint Clare?_

Oh shit.

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**Yes, I know. The ending sucks. But heyyyy, next chapter you find out how Eli and Clare know each other!**

**Also, if you don't like my story, just don't read it. I don't need or want anonymous people reviewing saying that they don't like it. I deleted the comment since it wasn't constructive criticism or a decent comment in any way, but if you don't like it, don't read it. I know my writing isn't the best and I don't write 5000 word chapters, but nobody's perfect. At least I try really hard to get the grammar right, since that's the hardest part of writing for me.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Still don't own Degrassi. I do own all the stuff that I'm putting on a second degree burn that's on my wrist. Yup. It's painful. Note to all, never cook with a broken anything, especially a broken foot.**

**Also, due to a request, I got a twitter? Haven't done anything with it yet tweet wise. Feel free to add me grey_eyes87. Not sure what to do with it though.. Guess we'll find out.. Maybe. If people care enough. Ha!**

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**Clare's POV**

I couldn't be here. Not now, not after what I just learned about Eli.

I stood a few feet away from the ticket counter, my ID and money in my hand which was shoved in my pocket, staring at the destination options listed in front of me. I wanted to go somewhere that no one could find me. I needed an escape; I needed freedom.

I've ruined too many lives here. I've overstayed my welcome at Alli's, and I can tell her parents aren't too thrilled that I'm living with them, still. I can tell that Alli and Sav are frustrated that they constantly feel the need to walk on eggshells around me. They're scared to leave me alone, scared to say the wrong thing. I need out.

Maybe leaving would be for the best. Eventually people would stop looking for me. Everyone would soon forget about me. I can change my name, not legally of course. I can make it so that no one knows my past. I can make an entire new life for myself. I can forget about everything I've ever known.

But I can't forget. I made my sister a promise that she'll never be alone. She may have hated me, but I can't just abandon her like she abandoned me. I loved my sister and no matter what she said to me, I would always love her. Nothing would or could've ever changed that.

Slowly, I pulled my money out of my pocket, and glanced back up at the board. I had five minutes to choose where I wanted to go, but my eyes kept glancing back at one place. I walked forward to the ticket counter to purchase a ticket to the one place I felt I had to go. The one location listed my eyes always glanced back to.

"Cornwall, please." The man looked at me with a curious look on his face, but I refused to make eye contact with him in fear that he would know ever secret I'd ever kept. Slowly, but eventually he printed out the ticket and told me which door to wait at.

Minutes later, I boarded the bus, and dragged my iPod out of my backpack. Leaning against the window, I placed the headphones in my ears, turned my music on, and shut my eyes, letting sleep soon take over me.

"_How could you do this to me? I trusted you!" She threw her hands up in the air in frustration before gripping onto her hair and pulling as hard as she could._

"_Lee, it's not what you think! Please, can we talk about this? We're sisters!" I pleaded with her, but her opinion wouldn't budge._

"Step_sisters. And you've done enough damage. What makes you think I want to listen to any pathetic excuse you have to offer?" Her voice was laced with hate, and for once in my life, I was scared of her. I knew she didn't like me, but I had never seen her as angry towards anyone as she is right now._

"_Maybe because I'm still your sister? Sisters fight. Please? Let's just talk about this!"_

"_Talk? You want to talk? Fine, let's talk. How about the fact that I know there's more to it than you're telling me? Or maybe the fact that I can't wait to see you suffer for the rest of your life, you pathetic piece of shit."_

"_Lee, come on. Please? I'm sorry! I didn't mean for it to happen. You've known I've liked him ever since I was little, but you should also know that I would never do anything to purposely hurt you." A small, devious smile spread across her lips._

"_I can't say the same for myself." Her voice was demonic. Almost psychopathic. She was pacing around in circles as if she were trying to figure out where she were or what she should do next._

"_W-what are you talking about?" I hesitated trying to figure out what her next move would be, but soon noticed that she was seemingly looking across the street. She stopped circling and looked both ways before looking back at me with that same sick smile. "Julia.. What are you doing?"_

"_You claim that you didn't purposely mean to hurt me, but I can't say the same for myself," she repeated. Julia looked back towards the street before glancing back at me with that sinister smile still plastered on her face. "Love ya, sis," she stated sarcastically before running into the street and abruptly stopping in front of a car._

I jolted awake and noticed that my breathing was drastically heavy. The memory of that night is still as fresh as if it had happened yesterday. Quietly, I began crying, not wanting to startle any of the other passengers on board. I was fine. I had to be fine.

My sister's death was my entire fault, and Eli blamed himself. I couldn't tell him who I was; besides, he told me that he was in love with me, even if he didn't know who I was. But if that were true, if he really did love me, how did he not know who I am? I've changed, but I didn't think I'd changed that much. Part of me doesn't want him to remember anyway, especially now. I can't be with him. He had the right to know, though.

I looked out the window of the bus to realize that I was almost at my stop. I passed the familiar trees and streets, hoping that I could be in and out of this town before anyone I knew saw me. I didn't want questions arising as to why I was here completely randomly. I didn't want to run into my supposed family. I just wanted to get in and out of Cornwall without being seen.

As the bus arrived at the station, I cautiously stepped out, not entirely certain of where I was. Normally, whenever I came back, someone drove me directly to where I wanted to go, but this time, I had to find my way on my own. I walked through the station doors, trying to find the exit. Upon finally locating it, I stepped out onto the sidewalk, and began walking in any direction. Lucky for me, it was in the right direction. After about twenty minutes of walking, I came to a stop in front of the cemetery gates. I inhaled a deep breath before pushing the gate open and finding the stone I was looking for.

I sat down atop of Julia's grave, and just stared at her name written on the granite while tears began to fill my eyes. Slowly, I lifted my right hand up and began to lightly trace the lettering.

"Lee, I'm so sorry. I truly never meant to hurt you," I whispered, wishing that she could hear me but knowing she can't. "I wish I could take it all back. Maybe you'd still be here. I wish things were different, I really do." I choked on my words and pulled my knees up to my chest, wrapping my arms around them. I buried my face between my knees, and tried to stop myself from crying.

"_This is exactly what she wanted_," I thought to myself. _"She wanted me to suffer."_ Nothing could change my thoughts on that. I've never forgotten, or have even begun to have forget the way she said her last words, 'Love ya, sis'. Those three words are the ones that have constantly haunted me ever since the day she died. It was so evil, so manipulative, so...

It was a lie. Everything to her when it came to me was a lie. She never told anyone how much she truly hated me. If she hated me so much, why is it that I bring myself back here at a minimum of three times a year so that she won't be alone? Is it because I'd know that she'd hate it? Is it because I secretly hoped she'd somehow see or hear how much she hurt me? Is it because I want to feel better?

Before I knew it, it was starting to get dark. _Shit_. I didn't plan this one through very well. I quickly collected myself and said my goodbye. Once I turned around, my heart stopped and I came face to face with one of the last people I was expecting to see.

"Thought I'd find you here."

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**Tadaaaaaaa. That's me trying to be enthusiastic, but honestly, it's 2 am. Haha, I'm tired, but really wanted to finish this!**

**Who's at the cemetery? Hmm. Review to find out! Pretty please? I know some of you figured it out last chapter, but I'd still like to know what you think =)**

**You guys are amazing. Never forget that =)**


	6. Chapter 6

**Okay, so I'm not satisfied with this chapter. At all. I've written and rewritten it around seven times now, and each one just doesn't make me very happy. Then I tried intertwining the chapters and ended up with … this. Meh.**

**Also, Eli's POV is kind of a "meanwhile" kind of thing. It takes place while Clare is on the bus, but I liked where I placed it in the chapter, oddly enough.**

**I own nothing. Except my stuffed PINK caterpillar that Kyle gave me while I was in the hospital because caterpillars are awesome. And so is the color pink. And the fact that he walked around the store with it and still kept his manhood intact makes it that much better.**

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**Clare's POV**

I froze. I didn't want to turn around because I didn't want to face him, but I knew I had to. It'd been so long since I had last seen him, and our last encounter wasn't left on a positive note. Slowly, I turned around and stood in silence looking at him standing before me. He hadn't changed much. Secretly, I was happy to see him, yet refused to let my guard down. Why was he here? Better yet, how on earth did he know that I would be here? It's not like I told anyone. Hell, I wasn't even planning on coming here, and wouldn't have, had Cornwall not been on the destinations list. As these questions consumed my brain, I didn't let the shock cross my face. I refused to let it.

"W-what are you doing here?" _Way to stutter, Clare_.

I wasn't sure on how I felt about seeing him. Actually, I did. I didn't want to see him. But wait. Why would he want to see me? I've ruined his life. I've ruined everyone's lives. No one should want anything to do with me. Especially him. He blamed me most of all.

"I could ask you the same thing."

**Eli's POV**

"Why isn't she answering?" I slammed the fist that held my cell against the lockers and smashed my head against my fist. This wasn't how I wanted Clare to find out that I was in love with her. Hell, I had no intention of ever telling her, and even if I did, I never expected her to disappear afterwards.

"So now will you tell me what you told her that made her pull a disappearing act?" Adam had been pestering me ever since the incident in the auditorium, if you could even call it an incident. He knew something was up when I started panicking that Clare hadn't shown up for lunch. I turned around and sank against the lockers, now sitting next to Adam.

"I told her I loved her," I whispered.

"You WHAT?" Adam screeched next to me. He abruptly put down his comic and turned his body to face mine, even though I wasn't even looking at him. "Why would you tell someone you love them when you don't even know them? No wonder she left!" I twisted my head around to face Adam.

"I do know her." It was the truth. I knew who Clare was, and I hate myself for not figuring it out sooner. Adam's face contorted into confusion.

"No, you think you know her. You settled for 'looks like someone you know', remember?"

"Adam, she looks like someone I know because she _is_ someone I know. Well, used to know. She's changed a lot since I've seen her last, hence why I didn't recognize her." It was true. She no longer had braces. She cut off most of her hair, and stopped straightening it. She no longer had her glasses. She was nearly unrecognizable to anyone who hadn't seen her in a long time. "I only knew it was her because of something she called herself."

"Well? You can't just leave me hanging! What'd she say?" I didn't want to talk about it anymore, because frankly, I was pretty embarrassed by this situation, but I knew that if I didn't tell Adam, he'd never stop pestering me about it.

"She referred to herself as _Miss Saint Clare_. Julia used to call her that because Clare was seemingly always the goody two shoes. She never really saw that Clare was just, refreshingly different. She saw the better side in everyone, whereas Jules was always a 'glass half empty' kind of girl." I knew it then, but I hated admitting how alike Julia and I were. We were always butting heads on everything, but with Clare, you couldn't help but see her joy in life. I think that's why I fell for her. "I cheated on Julia. With Clare."

The silence between us was deafening and Adam just stared at me, his mouth opening and closing searching for the words that he couldn't phrase. "...Really? Well, I mean. It could've been worse. Clare could have been her sister or something."

Silence.

"Eli… Don't tell me…"

I looked at my hands, still silent.

"Eli! How could you?" Adam flipped, but I just took it. I deserved it. I'll always deserve it. I hurt both the girl I loved and the girl I was in love with.

"Well, it's not like they were technically related!" I tried to justify my actions, but I knew I was in the wrong. Adam knew I knew I was in the wrong just by looking at my face. I felt horrible about cheating on Julia, but I'll never say that I'll regret it. You can't fight what your true feelings are.

"Stepsisters? Really Eli? Do you know how long it probably took for them to be able to trust one another, Julia more than Clare?" Adam was fuming, but he had every right to be. I fucked up. I knew that, but honestly, he really didn't have to rub it in my face anymore. "Wait, how did you not recognize at least her last name to go with the first?"

"I don't know," I shrugged. "She must be using her 'before adoption' name, although I didn't think that were possible, and I never knew what Julia's stepmother's maiden name was. But there's just one thing that's been bothering me since our little argument earlier. She said that Julia killed herself… in front of her. How could I not know that? How could she not even tell me?" My voice was beginning to crack with every passing word and I felt tears begin to prick the corners of my eyes. I needed to find Clare, but I have no idea where she could have gone. I no longer knew her like I used to. I had to find Alli.

I stood up abruptly and began my search for Alli, ignoring Adam calling my name as I ran down the hallway. She wasn't in the cafeteria or in the library. After asking a few people, I eventually found her in the media immersion lab.

"Alli! I need to know where Clare could have gone –"

"Already taken care of." She never once turned her head away from the computer, but just simply waved her hand in my direction. "Don't worry, she'll be fine."

"Wow. For someone who claims that Clare is their best friend, you sure have an odd way of showing it." Alli abruptly turned around to glare daggers at me. "And if you'd like to know, she ran off because I kind of told her I love her."

Alli's eyes widened at my statement. "Well that was something that I was most definitely not expecting. What'd she say?"

"She basically told me I was an ass for falling in love with my girlfriend's sister, and I told her she wouldn't understand. She then told me that 'Miss Saint Clare' was going to take her sheltered ass away from me."

"Well, what'd you say?" Alli screeched. I felt like this was basically a movie to her, and all she was missing was the popcorn.

"Nothing. But, one good thing came out of it." Alli practically begged me with her eyes to continue. "I remember."

**Clare's POV**

I alternated my weight between my feet, trying to imagine that this isn't as awkward as it actually was. It had been too long since I had seen him, but that time span wasn't long enough. I looked up at him to see what he was doing, and he still kept that same smile on his face that will always haunt me. I hate his smile. I hate almost everything about him.

"How'd you even know I'd be here? I didn't tell anyone." I tried not to sound angry, but I was. Was he stalking me? Was he psychic? Did he see me walking from the bus to the cemetery and follow me here and wait until it was getting dark to approach me? I wanted to be alone. I needed to leave everyone behind if they wanted to be happy.

"Alli noticed that you were gone, so she called me." Of course, I should have known. Alli always has to know where I am and who I'm with, twenty four seven. I absolutely hate how she never wants to give me freedom. How does she expect me to move on with my life if she's always constantly there? It's suffocating. She's always there. Always hovering. Can't she see that I'm not as fragile as she makes me out to be? Sure, yeah, I'm not stable, but how am I supposed to get better if she doesn't let me?

"Alli called you? How would she know I'd even come here? I didn't even know I'd come here." I mostly asked this question to myself, but stated it loud enough for him to hear. He slowly inched his way closer to me, but I immediately recoiled from him. I didn't want to see him or anyone else from my past.

"You're giving her exactly what she wanted." I just stared at him in disbelief. He no longer knew me. How could he expect to know anything about me now? "Alli told me that you stopped dancing. You stopped smiling. You stopped living?"

"I didn't stop living. I am here, aren't I?" I placed my hands on my hips and shifted my weight to my left leg. "Clearly I'm still alive."

"That's not what I meant, Clare, and you know it."

I knew he was right; he was always right. That's probably why we were always so close, but after Julia died, I distanced myself. I couldn't handle being around him. He reminded me of her too much, and seeing him just brought back the memory of that night more than ever.

Once, he even accused me of pushing her in front of the car, and that's when I knew I had to get away. He apologized profusely, but I knew it was what he thought was true. They say that when you're angry, you say what you truly feel. He will never like me, just like Julia would never like me. I was Miss Saint Clare. The goody two shoes. The nerd. The outcast. Eli was the only one who seemed to really see me for who I was instead of what I was labeled.

"Why do you even care? Last time I checked, I deserved to suffer," I stated coldly and looked to the ground as I brushed past him, my arms crossed over my chest. Before I could get too far, I felt a strong hand grip my forearm and spin me around abruptly. Once again, I came face to face with the haunting brown eyes that I never thought I would see in person again before today.

"You can't keep blaming yourself for this! Julia was sick, I –we know that now. And I'm sorry for blaming you." I just stood there, staring at him. My eyes were quickly filling with tears, and I began blinking ferociously to try and will them away while keeping my breathing steady. "She wanted you to suffer. She wanted you to throw your life away because of her. She manipulated all of us, and it wasn't until her journal was found that we saw her for who she truly was."

"Why… why didn't anyone tell me I could come home? Why didn't anyone at least call me to say they're sorry!" By this point, I was furious. I didn't care who heard me yelling because honestly, at this point, all I saw was my family's betrayal. "Did I really mean that little to all of you?"

"Clare, we tried. We got ahold of your principal, seeing as how we didn't have a number for the people you're staying with, but he told us of how well you were doing, so why would we pull you away from that? Why would we cause you to go through all that emotional pain, again, when we knew how much happier you were? Yeah, we all miss you, but we're family. We can't stay mad at each other forever."

"You still could have told me. It would've been nice to know that I wasn't completely at fault for the past year and a half. You know who goes to my school now? Eli. Yup. Out of every school he could have gone to, he now goes to mine. Do you know what that's been like for me? Its hell, Dad, and I can't be around it or him anymore." I paused, and he opened his mouth to respond to what I just said, but I cut him off. "He told me he loves me. Did you know that? He doesn't even know who I am, and he told me that he's in love with Julia's sister. If he was actually in love with me, how come he can't for the life of him remember? Am I really that forgettable to everyone?" By this point, I was crying hysterically and I'm sure I looked horrendous. He didn't answer though, but instead, he just stared at me as if he were contemplating something.

"Come with me? Please?" He held out his hand, gesturing that he wanted me to go with him, but I wasn't sure if I wanted to.

"Dad, if you're taking me home, you can forget it. It's easier for you to forgive because I'm not your flesh and blood, but mom, she didn't speak to me for weeks. She doesn't understand anything she doesn't want to, and Julia was always her favorite."

"I'm not taking you home. I promise." Hesitantly, I took his hand in mine and led me out of the cemetery.

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**Yup. See what I mean? Not. Good.**

**Anyway, to clear up any confusion. Clare's stepdad is the one at the cemetery. She just calls him dad because it's easier than writing Randall, and maybe not everyone knows who Randall is, and maybe it would be slightly confusing. Well, it's confusing either way, actually. But Randall and Clare's mom got married when Clare was still young, so Randall adopted Clare, but after Clare moved to Toronto, she prefers to be called my her mother's maiden name because of the memories attached to Julia's last name because of her anxiety.**

**Anyway, review? Please? Even if it's to tell me that this chapter sucks, I'd still like some feedback.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Hey guys! So, this story is almost done. Not much has been going on with me. I graduated though, so yay. Oh, and my anniversary with Kyle is in a week and a half! I'm excited. Although, I have absolutely no idea what to get him! Ahhh!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi, nor do I own Acid Rain by Mandi Perkins. If you haven't heard that song, you should go do that. Or don't. Up to you. I'll warn you though, it kind of makes you go "what the…?" haha. I love it though. Also, I love anything Joshua Radin, but nothing of his is in this chapter.. I just felt like saying it. His music never fails to make me happy.**

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"Can't you drive any faster?" Alli had been complaining the entire ride to Cornwall. I swear if she weren't Clare's best friend, I'd pull over and make her walk the rest of the way. We weren't even a third of the way there, and she had been pestering me about my driving for the last forty five minutes.

"Alli, if you don't shut up, I will make you either walk there or ride in the back." Yup. That was me being nice to her. I couldn't stand Alli at this point, and I can't even begin to comprehend why or even how Clare can deal with this on a daily basis.

"Geez, someone's a little testy, aren't they?" I shot her a death glare to show her that I, in fact, was not joking. "Okay, okay. I'm sorry. I'm just … worried." I faced the road again, not wanting to kill us both in this attempt to 'rescue Clare' or whatever Alli decided to call it. I wasn't paying all that much attention to her at this point.

"And you don't think I am? I'm in love with her, dated her sister, killed her sister, and then proceeded to tell her I'm in love with her when she knew I had no idea who she was." Clearly I was racking up points with Clare. It's just one mistake after the other.

"You didn't kill her sister," Alli muttered under her breath, but loud enough to where I could still hear her, only I didn't respond right away. I didn't want to yell at Alli more than I already had on this little trip. After a few seconds, I spoke up.

"I may not have directly killed her, but I killed her nonetheless. I kissed her sister and she got angry and left. Yeah, Clare says she was there, but it doesn't change the fact that she was out on the streets because of _me_."

Alli was silent, and it wasn't anywhere near a comfortable silence. I knew she was thinking of what I had just told her, but I didn't care. It was still awkward. Eventually, Alli spoke up, "Clare didn't tell you what happened, did she?"

"Does it matter? I know you won't tell me."

"I know I shouldn't, but you need to know. She's not going to open up easily, and it took her a long time to even tell me. She only told Sav because he took her to the hospital that night and couldn't stop talking after she started. I guess it was one of those 'too in shock to realize what you're saying' things?" Alli let out a nervous chuckle before glancing over at me just to realize that I didn't find it even the tiniest bit amusing. "Anyway, what all do you want to know?"

"Just start from the beginning. Please."

**Clare's POV**

As I rode in the car with _him_, I couldn't help but wonder where he was taking me, but I refused to ask again. So, we sat in awkward silence, and when I mean, awkward, I mean awkward. Like one of those times where you want to break the silence, but you have no idea how so you just sit there staring at each other waiting for the other to, but at the same time, they're waiting for you to take the initiative to begin a conversation. But hey, they kicked _me_ out. Why should I attempt at conversation? All too familiar streets began passing me, and I soon realized where he was taking me. I abruptly sat up in my seat and demanded he pull over so that I could get out and go back to the bus station.

"Clare, you need to do this," the man who dare called himself my father tried to reason. But news flash, he wasn't _my _father. He was _hers, _which just gave her yet another reason to hate me. I wasn't lying when I told Eli that she killed herself because of me. I was younger than her, so therefore I became the baby of the family. Her father began supposedly began paying more attention to me, but if that's true, it's probably because he wanted me to like him. But I was four; I liked everyone. "If you're going to do this for anyone, you need to do it for yourself. This repression, it's not healthy."

"Daddy, please don't make me," I quietly begged while looking down at my hands as my dad continued his drive down the road towards the place I hadn't stepped foot inside in almost a year and a half. I rubbed the tips of my thumbs against each other – a nervous habit I picked up within the months following Julia's death – and soon started clicking the nails together. I didn't want to do this. I wasn't ready to do this. I lifted my gaze to look outside the car window, watching as the all too familiar buildings passed. Within the next five minutes, Dad ended up parking at the building I haven't seen in a year and a half, but I didn't move. What did I do to deserve this? I'm not ready. Why can't he see that?

"Come on, Clare. It'll be fine." Slowly, I moved my left hand to the top of my belt buckle and even slower began to apply pressure to the button, eventually releasing the belt. I reached for my bag, opened the door, and rested my head on the door frame after I stood up. Sucking in a deep breath, I shut my car door and walked towards the front doors of the building. As I walked through the doors, I immediately felt tears prickling the corners of my eyes. This was overwhelming and I could feel my breathing start to pick up and my chest begin to slightly tighten. Dad must have noticed because he was instantly by my side telling me that I don't have to do this and that he was sorry.

Once my breathing was for the most part under control, I saw the sorrow in my father's eyes for bringing me here. He didn't know about my panic attacks, so I can't hold it against him. He wants me to do this so badly, and I'm not even sure if I can. I can't help but feel that I'm being selfish, especially if what he told me earlier were true. What kills me so much is that if you think back on it, all the signs were there. I just helped push her over the edge. But the thought of her wanting me to feel this way angered me. Did she seriously think that little of me? Was I really just essentially just another notch on her miserable bedpost? With all of this newfound anger, I shook myself from my father's grip. The look of betrayal that I once had on my face was now a look of determination and I abruptly grabbed my iPod out of my bag. I made it down the aisle, slipped off my shoes, and climbed onto the stage, immediately marching backstage to the sound system to plug my iPod in. Julia wasn't going to run me anymore. I'll keep my promise to her and I'll still miss her, but I couldn't let this feeling of guilt that she _wanted_ me to feel control me anymore.

As I hit play, I immediately heard the song creep onto the sound system. I inhaled and held my breath as I walked back onto the stage. But as the first verse came on, I couldn't get myself to move. It felt surreal and I secretly wished Eli were here to tell me it was okay. As I looked out into the audience, I noticed my dad just watching me incredulously, waiting to see what I would do.

_I wish for you misfortune  
I swear to God I wish you pain  
I hope the sky caves down over you  
Rips you apart with acid rain_

As the next verse began, I slowly started to move, but not before tears slowly started to fall down my cheeks. I felt so angry and betrayed by Julia, and slowly, I began to let those feelings come out. Once the chorus hit, I was dancing full out with more passion than I have ever danced with and I have to admit that it felt amazing. Every leap, pirouette, and combination may not have been flawless, but you could see the raw emotion I was putting into it.

The last verse of the song, which was also the first, I slowly sank to the floor and curled into a ball. I lost it. My life had changed so much, and I was ruining the few things I had left: my relationship with Alli, my relationship or whatever it was that I could have had with Eli, and most importantly, my self-dignity. With these thoughts running through my head, I couldn't stop crying. I wanted Eli here to tell me everything was going to be okay. I wanted Alli to soothingly rub my back until I fall asleep like she does when I'm really upset. I want my mother to tell me that she loves me and that she never stopped. I want my father to tell me that I can go back to my life in Toronto because no one knows me there and it's a start that I never fully gave my all to.

**Eli's POV**

I watched silently in the back as Clare laid on the stage crying her heart out. A man, I'm assuming to be her father, quickly rushed onto the stage to soothe her, and I could help but feel that I wish that had been me, but she didn't know I was here. She didn't know that I had seen her dance, but I wanted to know why she chose that song. I saw Alli flinch next to me as she was debating on whether or not to go onto the stage to help calm Clare down, but I rested my right hand on her upper arm and motioned that I was going to go up on stage to help Clare.

I jumped onto the stage and knelt down next to her curled, shivering body, and softly patted her curls in hopes to calm her down a bit. "I'm right here, Clare," I whispered into her ear, but at the sound of my voice, she shot up and looked at me with dread in her eyes. Not fear, but actual dread of talking to me.

"D-daddy, can you please leave? I need to talk to Eli. Alone." I could tell her father was hesitant in letting us be alone together after what had happened to Julia, he was her daughter after all, but eventually he nodded and began making his way towards the back of the theater. I turned towards Clare as she said, "I need to tell you the truth on what really happened that night."

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**Well yay. I think next chapter is going to be the last. We'll see. I'm not quite sure at this point. But I will say this, what was in the flashback a few chapters ago, isn't the whole story between what went down between Clare and Julia. Hmmmmm so what really happened then? Well you'll just have to review to find out!**

**Oh, and I know this story has gotten lame. So, I apologize. Hence why it's ending next chapter. But in my defense (at least for this story), this was not anywhere near what I intended to do for this story. Like seriously, Clare was supposed to be a bitch and Eli was supposed to get under her skin, and yaddayaddayadda. But not like the other stories on here. Well anyway, we'll see if I continue writing fanfiction at all.**

**And I also apologize for ending this chapter on a very depressing note…. But please still review? They make my day, and give me the little bit of umph I need to write.**


	8. Chapter 8

**I'm just going to go ahead and say that I can't wait for Harry Potter and Twilight. At least THEY won't let me down. And I actually hate the twilight movies, but I'm more excited about seeing how they're going to portray the whole pregnancy/sex/birth/change thing, but I know I'll be disappointed since it's going to be PG 13 and in order to do it, it should be rated R, but we'll see!**

**So it's been longer than I expected for this to be updated, but I have some news! I am officially engaged to the most wonderful person (whom some of you appreciate for updating when I couldn't), Kyle! I was planning on having this updated last weekend, but proposal happened, then spontaneous trip happened, soooooooo this is me updating now! And I have to say, I'm super stoked!**

**Still don't own Degrassi because if I did, Eli and Clare would still be together and they'd be freaking happy about it. I also don't own anything mentioned in this.**

**Now, enjoy the final chapter of Haunted!**

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**Clare's POV**

Eli just sat there staring at me once I was finished telling him the story of what had happened that night. He didn't look angry or sad, he just looked empty. He didn't even look as if he were contemplating what to say. Suddenly, he began to stand up on the stage to leave, but still never said a word.

"Eli? Please say somethi—"

"Stop. I don't want to hear it. I can't … not … now," he quietly yet sternly told me as he stood with his back towards me. I remained seated on the floor of the stage, my legs curled under me and my hands in my lap. I bowed my head as tears slowly made their way down my face, forming spots on the floor as they dripped off my trembling chin.

"I – I'm sorry," I whispered. That was all I was able to get myself to say before I noticed that Eli's fist was clenching, a sign that was never good with anyone. Before I knew it he had turned around.

"You're _sorry_? For the past year and a half, I've blamed myself! For the past year and a half, I thought she killed herself! You have no right, especially when everything is _YOUR_ fault!" Tears were steadily streaming down my face as I began to choke on my sobs. "..Everything… and all you have to say is that _you're SORRY? _What the hell!" Eli threw his hands up in the air before resting them on top of his head and pulling his hair hard, but not hard enough to pull any hair out. Suddenly, he turn his back towards me again taking a few steps towards the staircase that lead off of the steps abruptly stopping to whisper, "I'm asking Ms. Dawes to switch partners if I'm unable to switch classes. I never want to speak to you again."

My body was once again overcome with heart wrenching sobs as Eli made his way down the steps and up the aisle. As I heard the back door open, I could faintly hear Alli begin to ask him something and stop, but I'm not sure if it's because I was drowning her out with my crying or because she actually did stop. As I lay crumpled on the stage, I could barely hear Alli calling my name as she was running down the aisle and stumbling onto the stage to be by my side. I didn't acknowledge her presence for hours. I just continued to cry. It was all I knew how to do at this point. How I wasn't in a full out panic attack at this point was beyond me, because I'd rather that at this point.

**Eli's POV**

Weeks had passed since I learned the truth of Julia's fate, and Clare had returned to school for only the first week before disappearing again. My only assumption is that she moved back home, but I wasn't about to go visit her. I was still angry, and although I feel awful about how I went off on her like that, I don't regret what I said. I had noticed in English, Alli wasn't her same annoyingly perky self. It was as if a piece of her was gone as well, but she'll bounce back. Everyone eventually always does.

As I leaned against my locker at lunch, I could hear Adam going on about some new girl in his chemistry class, but I wasn't really paying attention. My mind was more focused on Alli's behavior, believe it or not. Why? I'm not entirely sure myself, but I'm sure it has to do with the fact that I know her behavior has to do with Clare. As much as I tried not to, I still love her. I understand why she didn't tell me, and it's not like she knew that I was suffering at first, but she did know after I first started here and she could have told me then. But instead, she decided to play the whole "oh, you don't know who I am" thing to her advantage knowing full well that she knew who I was.

"Eli? Are you even listening to me? ELI!"

"What? Sorry Adam. My mind's been elsewhere," I honestly told him. I looked over at him to see him just staring at me as if I were an idiot.

"Does it have to do with Clare? Are you going to tell me what happened between you two? You know she moved, but I don't know where. I just know it wasn't back in with her folks. I couldn't entirely hear every word Alli was saying to Katie, but I do know that she's dancing again, although I never knew she danced before. Doesn't seem like the type, you know?"

"Yeah Adam, I know," I spoke quietly, no longer looking at him. For saying he's a guy between the ears, he sure does gossip like a girl. Honestly, he will talk about anything forever if you don't interrupt him, and keeping up with the latest gossip is his favorite, next to comics of course. "It's just complicated stuff having to do with Julia." For some reason, hearing the words that Clare had moved made me feel awful, even though I shouldn't. Maybe it was because this time, I was the reason for this move. And she didn't even move back in with her family, so who did she move in with? Where did she even move?

The end of lunch bell rang, breaking me of my thoughts. As I gathered my things, I told Adam I'd see him after school to drive him home, and made my way to my fifth period class. As I was walking, I couldn't help but pinpoint a certain voice in conversation with someone else.

"But Sav, she has a dance performance this weekend, and I really want to go! I haven't seen her in weeks, and on top of that, she's dancing. Do you know how much it'd mean to her if I – we – went? She's my best friend, I can't just not go." Alli. Of course. I stood around the corner to listen in and watch as Alli spoke to Sav about Clare because I just wanted to know how she was doing, and if eavesdropping was going to be how I found out, so be it.

"I can't promise anything, but I can talk to dad." I heard Alli squeal in delight before Sav cut her off again. "But Mom and Dad are still pretty upset with your spontaneous trip to Cornwall, so don't get your hopes too high. Plus, I'm sure they wouldn't be too thrilled about the drive to Montreal. It's like six hours away. And we'd have to stay overnight." Montreal. So that's where she went. But why would she go there? I watched as Alli squealed and wrap her arms around Sav as she jumped up and down screaming thank you to him. Once Alli let him go, he chuckled to himself and continued on his way to class while Alli continued to grab things from her locker. Initially hesitating, I began my way over to Alli.

"H-hey Alli," I stuttered. Stuttered? Awesome Eli. Alli glanced over at me, but not before I saw the look of disgust on her face. She didn't say anything and continued searching for something in her locker. "I know it's not my place," Alli stopped what she was doing to turn and face me before crossing her arms over her chest, "but if you go to Montreal, can I come?"

**Clare's POV**

I stood backstage awaiting my turn to go onstage. I wasn't nervous, but I was sad. Alli had told me her parents wouldn't let her come, so essentially, I had no one here to watch me in the audience other than those who were already here, but no one here for me.

After the encounter I had with Eli, I transferred to a performing arts school in Montreal, mostly because after dancing that one day, I realized how much I truly did miss it. So instead of not dancing because of Julia, I decided to dance _for_ Julia. I may not have been her favorite person, but she was still a huge part of my life, and the fact that she was sick produced that much more stress between us. I like to believe that if she had gotten the help that she needed, we could've been best friends, or at the very least friends. Real friends.

I had told myself for so long that what had happened wasn't what really happened, and was to the point where I even started to believe it. My nightmares consisted of what I wanted to believe instead of what really happened. Once I transferred here, I began talking to one of the guidance counselors at the school so that they knew why I would have random panic attacks. The words that Eli spoke continue to haunt my mind, so it's hard for me to focus on other things when just one word can trigger the memory of that day. And since I had told Eli what really happened, it made that night real. It made me realize that I needed to deal with the truth instead of believing a lie.

As the girl who was performing ahead of me was almost finished, I made sure my pointe shoes were on correctly, which was a habit that I had when I was younger even though I knew they were on perfect. As I heard my name being introduced over the loudspeaker, I made my way onto the stage. The applause died down and I heard the beginning piano of Julia's all-time favorite song come on. She never told anyone that it was her favorite song, but the fact that she listened to it whenever she was having an off day told me that it was. As the song began, I began my graceful, yet nearly slow movements. I didn't want to be in this performance, but my teacher was so impressed with how well I danced for not having danced in so long that she outright begged me to be in it. Then, with only random strangers here it seemed even less pointless, but nevertheless, I agreed.

_I'm more than a bird,  
I'm more than a plane,  
I'm more than some pretty face, beside a train  
And it's not easy to be me._

The bright side to lyrical ballet was that you essentially are dancing lyrical, but on pointe shoes. So you don't have the strictness that ballet requires. So with every leap and pirouette, I was able to put my own twist on it. I didn't have to have my arms in a certain place and I didn't have to about having an artificial smile on my face for most of the entire dance. As I did my final series of pirouettes while sinking to the floor for the ending pose, I could hear the applause start up again, but I could have sworn I could hear Alli screaming from somewhere in the audience, but I knew it wasn't her. I quickly exited the stage only to go outside and sit on the sidewalk next to the back of the auditorium. My eyes scanned the parking lot, and it was no surprise that there was no Bhandari car. Without realizing I were even looking, I also noticed that there was no hearse either, which just saddened me even more. But it's not like he knows where I am. I made Alli make sure he didn't know, although I'm not sure why it'd matter. It's not like he'd want to see me anyway.

I could faintly hear my name being screamed across the parking lot from the entrance to the school, and I still could have sworn it was Alli. I turned my head in the direction and could clearly see her running over to me while Sav stayed talking to someone at the door. I got up and met her halfway and enveloped her into a bone crushing hug.

"I didn't think you were going to be here! How on earth did you get here? Your car's not here!" I exclaimed. I was so excited to see my best friend in person because talking to her over skype just wasn't as fulfilling.

"Um, well. About that…" Alli looked down towards the ground as she pursed her lips together, clearly a sign that I wasn't about to like what she was going to tell me. "Eli's parents kind of gave us a ride. It was the only way my parents would let us come – if adults came with – since it's an overnight trip." No. I didn't want to see him.

"So, Eli's here with you?" I could feel all the color draining from my face with that piece of information, and I could feel my chest begin to tighten.

"Yeah, he wanted to come. I guess he overheard me talking to Sav or something, and I guess he wanted to see you? I'm not … entirely sure…" I could tell Alli was struggling to tell me this, and I couldn't be mad at her for not telling me. It's not like something that would be easy to tell, especially when she knows I still have feelings for him. "Did you want me to tell him to not talk to you?"

"No. If he wants to talk to me, so be it. I deserve whatever he says or feels towards me anyway." Alli gave me one quick yet reassuring hug before telling me that she won't be far away and heading back towards the school to retrieve Eli. As he exited the building, he kept his hands in his pockets and his head down as he made his way over to me. Once he approached me, he just stood there, his eyes still cast towards the ground. "H-hi," I nervously said. I had no idea what to expect from him at this point.

"How'd you know?" That was all Eli said to me. How am I supposed to know what he's talking about?

"Excuse me?"

"How'd you know she loved that song? She told me she didn't tell anyone, except me." Eli still wasn't looking at me, and I wouldn't blame him either if he never wanted to look at me again.

"I would hear her play it in her bedroom all the time. Didn't take long to figure out she was choosing to play it," I justified.

"You danced beautifully. Better than I remembered," he quietly said. Before I was able to mumble my thanks to him, he brought his head up to look me in the eyes and I could've sworn I felt my heart break right then and there. He looked so lost, and I knew it was partially all because of me if not completely because of me. But what he did next surprised me. He brought me into one of the most affectionate hugs I've ever had, but it took me a few moments to respond since it was one of the last things I expected Eli to do, especially after that day. "I love you, you know that right?"

I quietly laughed as I said, "Yeah. I seem to remember you saying that." As we separated from our hug, I couldn't help but wonder where this left us. Were we friends? Did he still not want anything to do with me? I had to know. "Eli … where exactly does this leave us? I understand if you wouldn't want to talk to me still, but I do miss you." Eli didn't respond, which I didn't fully expect him to. I just hoped.

"Clare, I –"

"No, I get it. I'm sorry. I should've told you. I should've realized that it'd make you no longer want to be around me. It's okay. I understand. Bye." I turned around as quick as I could before Eli could see how upset I was, but before I was able to get far enough away, I felt his grip around my wrist stopping me dead in my tracks. Slowly, I turned around to face him, but I didn't want to look him in the eye. "What?"

"If you had let me finish, you would've known that I came here for a reason. I'm not entirely sure what that reason is right now, but I do know that I want to at least try to be with you. I can't promise our differences won't tear us apart. I'm still hurt, but I'm miserable without you." He paused from his little speech that I had chosen not to say anything and grabbed my left hand and intertwined our fingers. "I'm not sure where this is going to lead us, but I really want to try. Julia would want me to be happy, and I want to be happy with you."

"But you can't be with me," I whispered, mostly to myself but Eli did hear me. He gripped the back of my neck, pulling me closer and pressing his forehead against mine.

"Julia was sick and I was angry. Nothing ever was nor ever will be your fault. I knew her well enough to know that she would have stepped into the traffic sooner or later." When Eli told me this, I realized that perhaps maybe I could finally move on from that night. Its memory will always be there, but I'll no longer let it haunt me.

X0X0X

"_How could you do this to me? I trusted you!" She threw her hands up in the air in frustration before gripping onto her hair and pulling as hard as she could. She pulled out clumps of hair, blood beginning to pour out of her scalp._

"_Lee, it's not what you think! Please, calm down. Can we talk about this? We're sisters!" I pleaded with her, but her opinion wouldn't budge._

"Step_sisters. And you've done enough damage. What makes you think I want to listen to any pathetic excuse you have to offer?" Her voice was laced with hate, and for once in my life, I was scared of her. I knew she didn't like me, but I had never seen her as angry towards anyone as she is right now._

"_Maybe because I'm still your sister? Sisters fight. Please? Let's just talk about this!" I grabbed her arm in attempt to pull her off of the sidewalk so that she didn't do anything irrational, but she just ripped her arm away from my grasp, bruising her wrist. She fell onto the sidewalk, skinning her knees, and slammed her hands onto the concrete._

"_Talk? You want to talk? Fine, let's talk. How about the fact that I know there's more to it than you're telling me? Or maybe the fact that I can't wait to see you suffer for the rest of your life, you pathetic piece of shit. He'll never truly like you, you know? You're just too hideous and oblivious to realize it."_

"_Really? Come on. You have EVERYTHING. The boyfriend, friends, mom's trust, beauty? You have everything I want!_ _Lee, please? I'm sorry! You've known I've liked him ever since I was little, but you should also know that I would never do anything to purposely hurt you." A small, devious smile spread across her lips._

"_I can't say the same for myself." Her voice was demonic. Almost psychopathic. She was pacing around in circles as if she were trying to figure out where she were or what she should do next._

"_W-what are you talking about?" I hesitated trying to figure out what her next move would be, but soon noticed that she was seemingly looking across the street. She stopped circling and looked both ways before looking back at me with that same sick smile. "Julia.. What are you doing?"_

"_You claim that you didn't purposely mean to hurt me, but I can't say the same for myself," she repeated. Julia looked back towards the street before glancing back at me with that sinister smile still plastered on her face. I grabbed her wrist trying to pull her back to try and talk her down some, but she just turned around and backhanded me across the face. I immediately brought my hand up to my face and looked her in the face. "Love ya, sis," she stated sarcastically before turning around to walk across the street._

"_You bitch. You can't let anyone be happy but yourself! What the hell is wrong with you? No wonder Eli wants to break up with you! You're fucking insane! I hope you die hated and lonely!" I followed her into the street as she stopped in the middle, waiting for a car to pass, but the driver wasn't paying attention. Without thinking, I pushed her._

"_Not so saintly now, am I sis?"_

* * *

**So there we have it! The end of Haunted.**

**And again, I apologize for not having this out when I had planned, but my engagement made me too excited to even think about writing.**

**Until next time!**


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